Who am I?

Been wrestling with that question most of my life. I've never felt like I've belonged anyway - always on the outside looking in. Don't have a hoard of friends, in fact I tend to be a loner and enjoy my own company. I always did and still think to some degree that I came out of a pod, as I am not conventional by any means. I believe in what I believe in passionately - there are no half measures about me there! Most of my friends are one's that I've made through email and various sites on the Internet. They've opened a portal to a whole new world - one that I am beginning to realise is quite amazing!!

One of my favourite pastimes is people watching - even as a child I could sit for hours in a shopping centre watching people going by, and families interacting with each other. People and their little idiosyncrasies fascinate me. Probably should've become a psychologist or therapist, but my life took me on a different course.

I landed up wasting a large part of the best years of my life complaining about how hard done by I was. Yep, instead of getting off my butt I sat and wallowed in self-pity and loathing. Instead of getting help for it straight away, I took to comfort eating and soon gained an enormous amount of weight. My health suffered and it become a downward spiral. Would look at myself in the mirror and see how awful I looked and get depressed, and then go an eat, and so it would go round and round. Finally I got a wake-up call when I started having chest pains and realised that I could actually be in serious trouble. Thankfully it was only an angina attack, but it gave me the impetus to get help and deal with my issues. Now I am 35 kgs lighter, still a way to go, but I am getting there.

People think that its only drugs and alcohol that are addictions, but food and more specifically over eating is an addiction too. I am aware that it is always there, just hovering and waiting to ensnare you once again.

So here I am. A survivor, a fighter and most importantly of all and I say this confidently and without being vain - beautiful! I am a woman and I am me!!!