Nature - it aint what its cracked up to be!

This last weekend I was fortunate enough to get away from the daily grind of work and escape to the bush - went to Weenen Game Reserve where we helped with the Mountain Bike Challenge on the Sunday.

Arriving on Friday in a howling gale, we had to try and pitch our tents. Ever tried hammering pegs into the ground with dust blowing in your eyes, and a billowing tent billowing out of control? After an hours exertions, I was in sore need of a glass or four of wine and was just starting to relax as the sun went down, when the rest of the group arrived as part of the volunteer bunch for the weekend. Now I am quite happy and social, but why on earth when people come to a game reserve they talk at the top of their voices as if they've suddenly gone deaf, and drowning out the calls of night jars, jackals, owls and other night life?

I can report with utter certainty the validity of the following:

1. When in the middle of the night you need to answer a call of nature - make sure you take a torch with you, or else you could be sharing the toilet with something with gleaming eyes - yes, I had that experience, and I still don't know what it was - nor do I want to know either!

2. Nature is exceptionally noisy, especially when you are trying to sleep. Grunting, coughing and all manner of noises are liable to get your mind wandering and thinking.... and that at 2 am can be dangerous.

3. When walking down a dry riverbed make sure you keep a good eye on the surrounding thickets and be as quiet as possible. You are likely to encounter many creatures there, some are not too happy to see you there!

4. If you loved climbing trees when you were a child, its time to dig deep and remember those skills. They will serve you well when ambling along the dry river bed and you round the corner to discover a cranky black rhino and her calf!!

5. At night when showering get to the showers while its still light enough to see without a torch. If you like me are too lazy and are forced to go with a torch later, be prepared to share your shower with all manner of creatures!

6. Yes, there are spiders the size of soup plates and they love toilets and showers. I came across one last night. Fortunately I had already been to the toilet, but I was left weak legged with fear at the thought of one of those finding its way into my tent!

7. At night in your tent it is best not to dwell too much on what is grazing outside your tent. It tends to make you paranoid and you risk waking up the rest of the camp every time you hear a noise. Believe me that is not wise!

8. Just when you are packing up and your binoculars are nowhere in sight, you are likely to get a glimpse of a bird you've been trying to see for years.

If you can put up with the dust, bugs, wandering wildlife, millions of mozzies and the searing heat then well nature if for you. Otherwise just watch Animal Planet - its just as good and better still you can turn it off once you've had enough!