Annus ?

Well another decade has begun.

I am older, greyer, wiser and more cynical and battle scared! Hard to believe another whole decade has passed and I have actually survived it - relatively speaking in one piece!

I can say with absolute certainty and conviction that is has been one of the most tumultuous decades of my life, both professionally and personally.

Started the decade working for an amazing couple who taught me the fascinating world of herbalism. Moved onto working for our local branch of the Independent Electoral Commission (the body the overseas elections in this country) and dived into the world of politics again. Having loved it when I studied journalism. Drove my poor lecturer Allison Gillwald mad with my endless questions - it was great to get immersed in it again. Found myself out of work for a prolonged period, then temporary employment and then unemployed yet again. I finally found a job and have been there ever since. Recently won a long hard fought battle to get a decent increase and recognition for my work - don't think I realised how much steel I had in me!

Personally though, it hasn't been that wonderful. Between suffering major bouts of depression and drinking I lost my dear father in 2007 which still is having a ripple effect on me to this day. Watched as a friend at work was treated like garbage and forced out of her job for no reason at all. Saw many people come and go at work and in and out of my life. Met some wonderful people who changed my life, met some I wish I could run over with a car! Discovered that so-called friends had hidden agendas. Whoever said life is easy should be shot!

My highlights for the decade

1. Meeting Katrina, Cheryl and Muhtafal (yes, I know he's a horse but he's amazing!).
2. Winning the battle for recognition and an meaningful increase.
3. Organising Mom's 60th birthday party.
4. Moving to Mooi River. Cannot believe I am saying this, but I really like living here now!
5. Discovering that I am actually good at what I do and realising that I have something to contribute to society, after decades of insecurity.

My low lights for the decade
1. Losing Dad - the pain is unimaginable.
2. Losing my beloved cats - Topsy, Coggie and Claudie.
3. Having no job for over two years
4. Having a nervous breakdown and subsequent major depression
5. Drinking way too much in order to cope with my pain
6. Saying good bye to Katrina and Joel.
7. Not being able to see Cheryl and the kids
8. Realising that a once good friend is no longer one!
9. Having feelings for someone that are not returned!
10. Seeing horses on the farm die or be put down. It never gets easier ever!

I have tried to be honest here, lay myself bare. All I want in this next decade is to move to a place where I am comfortable with myself and what I am. I think I am getting there, but its been a long time coming. I feel there will be other major changes coming, not sure what but I just feel it "in my water".