How not to attract a man!

1. When sidling across the floor smiling seductively, you trip flinging your drink all over him while uttering some choice expletives.
2. After recovering your composure and with numerous profuse apologies out of the way, you then try to sit down but in your nervousness you snag the tablecloth whipping out his plate of food from under him and onto the floor.
3. By this stage apologies are useless as he is looking at you with a mixture of incredulity and horror. You try to keep the conversation going, try to discover what he's interested in etc.
4. He's finally calming down and the conversation is moving along nicely when a sometime friend of yours who is in an vastly inebriated state staggers up to say hello and promptly vomits all over your table.

Sounds like fiction, well sadly its not. It happened to me recently. One day I might tell my family about it...