A Visit to the dentist.....

It’s my worst and enduring nightmare – a visit to the dentist. I first went a few weeks ago when I sheared the side off my tooth while I was attending a function. The dentist – with some glee (I’m sure) told me I’d have to come back and have my filling screwed into the remainder of the tooth to secure it. So the appointment was duly made – and promptly forgotten about until Friday mid morning.

I had visions of Marathon Man in my head - remember what Laurence Olivier did to Dustin Hoffman, so I was understandably rather tense by the time I reached the dentist. He’s an affable enough guy and greeted me with a friendly smile. I think he realised that my ears were quivering with fear and he uttered those immortal words “take a seat this isn’t going to hurt much”.

Yeah right!!

Plonking myself down in the chair I prayed that I could find a dark safe place to dissapear to.


After producing a needle the size of my arm (I’m probably exaggerating) but it looked that way to my psychotic mind!! I was numbed into submission and then had to endure a half hour of loud drilling and suction. It is not the most dignified position to be in lying semi-flat on your back with mouth wide open dribbling madly out of the corner of your mouth, because the stupid dental assistant is too busy telling the dentist about her date tonight!!

By the time I was finished I could hardly walk as I was shaking so badly and it took a good half hour and some fortification – chocolate of course! to calm my badly shattered nerves.

The trick is now trying to eat supper chewing on one side only, as I have strict instructions not to eat on the other side until tomorrow morning. As the dentist so succinctly put it – you don’t want to dislodge the filling and have to come back and have it rescrewed in. My mind ventured into very dark areas at that moment.

The only positive thing is that I should provide some amusement at airport x-rays as I’m bound to set off the machines with my screws. Talk about getting screwed – not quite the way I wanted to though!!!